It's been 10 years since Adam and I have said our "I do's" and it has been nothing but bliss. Ha ha, yeah right. Truth is, it's been no fairy tale. Let's travel down memory lane, where in the beginning we thought "oh we will never go to sleep angry" or "let's always communicate without yelling at each other" etc. Honestly, marriage takes a lot of work, a lot of commitment and most of all it needs God to be at the center of it all. I want to share with you guys a few things I've come to learn through our experience over the past 10 years.
1. GOOD INTENTIONS
It's important to have good intentions in everything you do towards each other. Whether its intentionally taking the time to sit down and have a conversation without interruptions, intentionally showing appreciation through your actions, not just verbally, or even being intentional with your touch throughout the day. I'm guilty of letting the day go by with the day to day tasks, that by the time the night ends, we haven't communicated that well and we leave it for the next day. So, something we have both implemented is lists and a family calendar. You better believe we even schedule mom and dad private bedroom time on it as well.
2. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY
It goes without saying, prayer is everything. I know you hear it during those pre-marital classes and you think "sure I'll pray for him because I love him!". But let me just say, its a tad bit difficult to pray when your schedule is crazy, nonetheless to pray for someone who is on your last nerve. Then finally, there is an open window for you to take that time, and when it presents itself be ready to take your prayer journal and write down the specific things you need to pray for in your marriage. Writing down certain characteristics about him or you can help you be that more intentional and specific in your prayers to God.
"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures" Proverbs 24:3-4
3. GENIUNELY MAKE HIM HAPPY
You would think this one is a no brainer and common sense, but it most certainly is a challenge. If your only goal is to make each other happy, then think about all the arguments you can prevent. However, we are all human and selfish, we want what we want and we have reasons to argue about it to make your point. When Adam and I take a trip to Home Depot or Ikea it turns into us arguing because, of course, we each have our own ideas of what we like. My response always is, "why can't you just make me happy and go with this one?" but, that's me being selfish because I could easily do the same for him. If one of us is in a good mood you'll hear us saying, "sure love, whatever you want" and that phrase makes all the difference in the world. Genuinely, try to make each other happy in the little things.
We got married in San Francisco in 2008, so it just made sense to take our 10 year anniversary photos there as well. When I saw my friend Inna had taken beautiful photos in the city hall, I just knew I had to contact her because I wanted our photos taken there and inside. Its open to the public, no need to make an appointment. I totally recommend anyone that loves SF to check it out because its absolutely beautiful inside.